Off center

Occasionally a client will find herself (it’s usually a woman, but not always) in a bad marriage she can neither repair nor escape.

In such cases I suggest she move the marriage off center.  This means

Make it small.  Reduce its importance. Stop seeing it as the center of your emotional life or the definer of your worth as a person. Demote it to the status of Evil Necessity — just as you would with an annoying boss you tolerate in order to keep doing a job you love.  Then set about balancing it with meaningful work and loving friendships and interests that feed you and bring out the best of who you are.  As much as you can, take steps to get your emotional and spiritual needs met outside this marriage. That will make it even smaller and move it further away from your emotional center.