It’s no coincidence that people
who had angry parents often
end up choosing angry partners,
that those with alcoholic parents
are frequently drawn to partners
who drink quite a bit, or that those
who had withdrawn or critical
parents find themselves married
to spouses who are withdrawn
or critical
Why do people do this to themselves?
Because the pull toward that feeling
of “home” makes what they want as
adults hard to disentangle from
what they experienced as children.
They have an uncanny attraction to
people who share the chacteristics of
parents who in some way hurt them….
It’s not that people want to get hurt again.
It’s that they want to master a situation
in which they felt helpless as children.
~ Lori Gottlieb
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