*
There a thing called triangulation
that happens in families.
When two members don’t
communicate well, a triangle
forms with a third person
who absorbs the anxiety and
stress from the strained
relationship.
Realizing that you’ve been
that third person can be
really enlightening.
*
~ Jessica Dore
xx
*
October 8th, 2023 at 10:39 am
I was that person, that child who was the inbetween one. I absorbed my parents angst, anger, frustration and fear. And its still hard to distinguish between what’s mine and what was theirs…
My way to survive was to go inside my head until I was lucky enough to get help and be able to identify my feelings and then go some way to expressing them. Always work in progress!
October 8th, 2023 at 11:38 am
I hear you.
The worst thing about triangulation is how it leaves us with impossibly blurred boundaries, an inability to sense where we end and other people begin, and the conviction that we must somehow solve their problems and fix their feelings before we can feel safe inside ourselves.
You know, basic training for therapists. 😉
October 9th, 2023 at 5:57 am
You are 100 % correct Steve.
being able to know what is my stuff and what isn’t has saved my ass and I actually like myself! I have training as a therapist to thank but you too for putting it across in easy to understand words and strategies. 🙂