Chapter 27: Projects

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Adult children have trouble

following projects through

from beginning to end.

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This symptom grew out of my low tolerance for emotional discomfort. 

No one enjoys discomfort.

But I really hated it, because I was uncomfortable most of the time, and because I had no idea how to make myself comfortable. 

I had never learned to detach, or vent, or seek support, or help, or advice. 

So I tried to reduce my discomfort by interrupting what I was doing. 

Whenever things got difficult or confusing or stressful or scary, I walked away from them.

I called this avoidance “taking a break.” 

And since every project turns uncomfortable at some point — requiring we do things we’d rather not do — I ended up not finishing anything. 

Then too, if I ever did complete a project, I’d have to decide what to do next.

And that was uncomfortable too.

(What if I decided wrong?)

Thus for years my garage remained a disaster, my graduate degree incomplete, my book unwritten, and I never lost those last fifteen pounds. 

And in this way tried to control my chronic state of discomfort.