So you’re married.
I am.
And your wife’s name is Felicia.
Correct. But I don’t call her that.
I call her Babe.
Bert and Babe. Cute.
And you have kids?
Yes, a son and daughter.
What’s your son’s name?
Barry.
And your daughter’s?
Bunny.
Hmm.
I’m sensing a pattern here.
We also have a dog.
Named…
Bonzo.
Of course.
Excuse me?
Just curious.
What’s your favorite color?
Burgandy.
Favorite sport?
Bowling.
Favorite music?
The blues.
Composer?
Bach.
Holiday?
My birthday.
Favorite meal?
Burgers.
Favorite movie?
Ben-Hur.
Favorite singer?
Barry Manilow.
Also Bette Midler.
Actor?
Ben Kingsley.
Actress?
Bette Davis.
English prime minister?
Benjamin Disraeli.
Favorite type of coal?
Bituminous.
(Sigh.)
You sighed. Why did you sigh?
Control addicts find comfort in
the familiar and the predictable.
It reduces their anxiety around
having to make choices or decisions.
It also makes them rigid. They get
trapped in their comfort zone.
So?
Has anyone ever described
you as predictable?
(Pause).
Bite me.
April 18th, 2026 at 9:18 am
Are there any personal benefits associated with being a non-conformist? Or predictably unpredictable?
April 18th, 2026 at 9:34 am
Depends on the individual, I think. Some people thrive on non-conformity, get a rush from being seen as unique. (Think: Andy Warhol.) Some are so insecure that they feel a need to submerge themselves almost entirely in belonging to a larger group. Most of us fall somewhere in between. But most of the people I work with have been oversocialized, forced (usually starting in childhood) to exchange their individuality for belonging and their authenticity for acceptance, to the point where they develop symptoms like anxiety, depression, addiction or rage. And the work of therapy then becomes helping them reclaim the parts of themselves they have lost.