Can I tell you a secret?
Of course.
I have low self-esteem.
I want high self-esteem.
Can you help me with that?
Nope.
You can’t?
No. I don’t believe in self-esteem.
You don’t?
Yeah. I think it’s a myth.
People think they’re supposed to
have high self-esteem.
And they feel inadequate
when they don’t.
The truth is, I don’t have self-esteem,
and I’ve never met anyone who does.
Really?
Really.
It’s one of those impossible goals
we set for ourselves.
Some people say they have it.
I know. I don’t believe them.
I assume either that they’re lying…
or engaged in wishful thinking…
or they’re narcissists, hiding
a secret emptiness…
or they just lack self-awareness.
What kind of self-awareness?
Anyone with self-awareness knows
how screwed up they are.
How often they act out of fear,
or ignorance, or selfishness,
or childhood conditioning…
and how regularly they fall
short of being the person
they want to be.
And they can provide you
with a long list of their mistakes,
failures and disappointments.
And if they can’t, or won’t,
they’re just in denial.
Because, my friend, we’re all broken.
Broken is the human condition.
So “high self-esteem” is just an
unrealistic goal.
You want a goal,
there’s a better one.
What?
Self-acceptance.
What’s the difference?
Self-esteem says, “I’m wonderful,
I’m special.” Self-acceptance says,
“Maybe I’m not wonderful or
special, but I can live with it.”
(Silence.)
Sorry to disappoint you.
No. it’s okay.
I can live with it.
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