Bert’s therapy/Session 24: Hammer

I feel like crap.

How come?

So many reasons.

My wife says I’m insensitive,

so I feel like a bad husband.

I don’t make enough money,

so I feel like a financial failure.

My son’s flunking Math, so I

feel like I’m doing something

wrong as a father.

I don’t have the time or energy

to clean my garage or fix what

needs fixing at my house…

so I feel lazy or irresponsible

or something.

And I’m twenty pounds overweight.

And you tell me I’m out of touch

with my feelings. So I feel like I’m

flunking therapy.

So I feel like crap.

A big, fat, smelly piece of…

Do you do this often?

Do what?

Beat yourself up in this way.

Yeah, lately.

Thought so.

Well, if you’re going to do it, you

might as well do it right.

See that drawer next to you?

Open it and take out what you find.

This?

Yes.

What is it?

It’s a gift. You can take it with you.

Thanks. What’s it for?

I’ll show you.

Place your hand on the desk…

and give it a good whack with

the hammer.

Are you crazy? That would destroy

my hand.

Temporarily.

But eventually the pain would go

away. And the hand would heal

in about six weeks.

But what you’re doing now — beating

yourself up, labeling yourself a

failure — is self-abuse, and that’s

even more self-destructive.

It doesn’t make you stronger or smarter

or braver or productive. It just

drains your energy and causes pain.

Huh.

That’s some gift.

You’re welcome.

You might at least put a bow on it.