Bert’s therapy/Session 38: Garbage

I remember my panic attack on

the first day of kindergarten.

I remember the bully who made

me eat ants on the playground.

I remember Dad getting drunk

and fighting my uncle on

our front lawn.

I remember running away from

summer camp because I was

so homesick.

I remember telling a girl I loved

her and her saying “Thanks.”

What the hell are you doing?

Remembering.

Why?

Bad memories just come up

when I feel stressed.

Well, stop chewing on them.

Why?

It’s bad mental hygiene. Like

looking for lunch in a garbage can.

I call it dumpster diving.

There’s nothing nourishing there,

and you just stink up your present.

But I’m just…thinking.

Not really. Most of what we call

thinking isn’t thinking at all.

What is it then?

Random mental activity.

Automatic, aimless, illogical.

Remembering, projecting, ruminating…

obsessing, fantasizing, worrying…

waste of time, mostly. And some

of it actually does harm.

How?

By triggering bad feelings that

have nothing to do with your

current reality.

Oh. Yeah.

It’s the main reason we’re

such neurotic monkeys.

Can I do anything about it?

You can. For starters, practice

catching yourself doing it.

Okay.

Then change channels. Intentionally

put your attention on something else.

Like something or someone you love.

Okay.

You can also train your mind.

That’s what meditation for.

Also resonant breathing and

yoga nidra.

But remember two things.

What two things?

First: Your mind has a mind of its

own. If you don’t manage it, it

will manage you.

And?

Second: Where you put your

attention is what grows.

So chew gum if you want.

But not garbage.