April 1, 2012
Win a BERT MUG!
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This blog was launched
on March 30, 2011.
Happy birthday to us.
To celebrate,
Monkeytraps
announces its first
BERT MUG
contest.
The Bert mug. Striking, no?
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A classic collector’s item in toilet-bowl white with the iconic visage of the inimitable Bert etched in jungle-rot green. Oh, okay. It’s an ordinary coffee mug with a monkey cartoon on it. But it’s free. And we promise you’ll be the only person you know who has one.
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The Bert Mug has many uses:
One use.
Another use.
Not recommended.
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To enter the contest, just:
(1) Sign up for the Monkeytraps mailing list by sending us an email to fritzfreud@aol.com. Include your name and the word SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.
(2) In that same email, suggest a caption for the Bert Mug having something to do with control addiction.
It can be serious or funny, poignant or pungent, clean or dirty, silly or profound. For example:
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All I want is total control.
Is that a banana in your pocket?
I control, therefore I am.
Hey, that’s not the reality I ordered.
Like that.
Entries will be judged according to what makes the judges laugh loudest, cry hardest, think deepest, or experience instant remission of all codependent symptoms.
Just kidding. Send whatever you think sounds cute.
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CONTEST JUDGES:
STEVE
Therapist, writer, cartoonist, codependency theorist, and co-author of Monkeytraps.
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BERT
Inner monkey, career codependent, co-author of Monkeytraps, and the mug’s poster boy.
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FELICIA
Bert’s wife, soon to appear in a series of “Bert’s Therapy” couples sessions. She asked to participate in this contest, and Bert can’t say no to her. (Should give you an idea of what the couples sessions will be like.) Refused to be sketched for this post (“With this hair? Are you insane?”).
COME ONE!!
COME ALL!!
TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!
TELL YOUR FAMILY!!
(MOM ESPECIALLY!!)
GET THE LEAD OUT!!
THIS MEANS YOU!!
YES, YOU!!
April 1st, 2012 at 12:22 am
I wannna Bert mug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puts thinking cap on* …..
April 1st, 2012 at 12:24 am
Um…oh yea… Happy Birthday Monkeytraps… *blushes* got a little overly excited about the Bert mug
April 1st, 2012 at 9:59 am
Thanks, RL. 🙂 No need to blush. Excited is good.
April 1st, 2012 at 6:43 am
Congrats on a year of blogging Steve! (and Bert!)
Looking forward to many more!
WGx
April 1st, 2012 at 9:57 am
Thanks, WG. 🙂 Nice to have you back after your hiatus.
April 1st, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Veeery funny, Steve – and clever. Must be an April Fool’s joke, right ? 🙂 yet …. it’s still worth thinking about; hmmm … I’ll let you know if I find a caption. As I am not a laterla thinker and these things take time with me, anticipate a possible reply in a few days LOL
Really enjoy your blogs though !!! 🙂
April 1st, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Thanks, Barbara. No, it’s not a joke. (Though I probably should have anticipated someone would think so.)
As for a caption, take your time. I plan to keep accepting entries right through to the end of April.
April 1st, 2012 at 4:28 pm
How about this ” NO TO CONTROL; YES TO SUBMISSION” ?
April 1st, 2012 at 10:05 pm
my best so far..
To Control or Not to control…..THAT is the Question!
April 1st, 2012 at 10:11 pm
the Long form for my suggestion for a much larger mug or a case of mugs in sequence?
To Control or Not to Control, THAT is the question!
Whether ’tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die, to sleep
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? ‘Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
The Oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s Contumely, [poor]
The pangs of despised Love, the Law’s delay, [disprized]
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a bare Bodkin? Who would Fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveller returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.
Thus Conscience does make Cowards of us all,
And thus the Native hue of Resolution
Is sicklied o’er, with the pale cast of Thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment, [pith]
With this regard their Currents turn awry, [away]
And lose the name of Action. Soft you now,
The fair Ophelia? Nymph, in thy Orisons
Be all my sins remembered.[1]
”
Respects to Shakespeare