Like any addiction, addiction to control is a bitch to recover from.

Hard enough to imagine surviving without doing the stuff we’ve always believed was absolutely necessary.

It’s even harder when we have no models to guide us.  How do you practice healthy alternatives to controlling if you’re not even sure how they look?

To help with that, we’re introducing a new feature: The Practice Corner.  It will be an occasional series of true (but cleverly disguised) stories told by readers working actively to free themselves from compulsive controlling.

Below is the first.

The Corner will be divided into three sections: Tales of Surrender, Tales of Responsibility, and Tales of Intimacy.  (If you’re not sure what those words mean, here’s a brief explanation.)

We hope you find these stories helpful.  Feel free to respond, if you like.  I’m sure their authors would appreciate that.

And we’d love to have you contribute your own.

Because nobody recovers alone.

Love,

~ Steve & Bert

* * *

Carry permit

I’m sitting in a faculty meeting and the chairperson turns to me and I know what’s coming.  Last week she asked me to do extra work I really really don’t want to do.  Being me, I told her I’d think about it.  Now she says “So can you take on that project we spoke about?”  “No, I decided against it,” I say.  She blinks.  Then she turns to the person beside me and asks them to do the same project.  I’m amazed at how easy that was.  I look across the table to a friend with whom I’d shared your recent post Gun, the one about the power of being able to say No.  I raise the tip of my index finger to my lips and blow imaginary smoke away from an imaginary muzzle.  My friend grins, then presses her lips together to keep from giggling.  Thanks for the carry permit, Steve.

~ Shared by A.P.