May 4, 2016
Ego strength
There is a term some therapists like to use:
Ego strength.
It means the ability to say
This is who I am,
This is what I think,
This is what I feel,
and
This is what I want
without fear of judgment, punishment or rejection.
Essentially it refers to a person’s ability to feel and function like a self-supporting adult.
To the extent someone lacks this ability, he or she will tend to feel, inside, like a powerless child.
And to the extent either partner lacks this ability, relationships will tend to slip into what we call codependency.
Codependent relationships are characterized by anxiety, buried resentments, emotional disconnection, dishonest communication and compulsive controlling.
All common symptoms, unfortunately.
For which the only reliable cure is ego strength.
May 4th, 2016 at 4:01 pm
I’ve always believed I have too much ego strength. ironically, I do have fear of judgment/punishment/rejection, but choose to go ahead and assert/advocate for myself, anyway.
May 4th, 2016 at 4:21 pm
As I understand and use the term, I don’t think that’s possible.
But it is possible to confuse ego strength with something else — aggressiveness, for example, or narcissism (think: Trump), or a lack of tact or empathy.
May 4th, 2016 at 10:26 pm
“This is who I am. This is what I think. This is how I feel. This is what I need,” That sounds healthy…something to work towards.
May 11th, 2016 at 12:39 pm
“A person’s ability to feel and function like a self-supporting adult” vs “feeling like a powerless child”.
I guess that’s the story of my life — not having (enough) ego strength?
June 23rd, 2016 at 8:30 pm
Steve, will you write something for single people in the dating pool–making connections, losing them, either initiated by themselves or the other person? And the fear of being alone. I see that my Plan A was get a great career, get married, make babies. And it’s not quite going that way 🙂
June 23rd, 2016 at 9:06 pm
Sure, but I need more context.
Is there a particular question you want answered or problem you want addressed?