.

(Continued from Part 2)

2. Monkeymind is all about control.

Acquiring control — editing the reality we have into the one we want — is monkeymind’s mission.

It pursues it by recalling old wounds and trying to heal them, anticipating new problems and trying to solve them.

Monkeymind is pain-driven and anxiety-driven, which is why the narrative it spins can feel like a bad horror movie.

It does this with the best of intentions.

It’s trying to heal us, protect us, make us happy.

Unfortunately the control it chases is an illusion.

So in the end what monkeymind mostly accomplishes is to make us confused, scared, angry, unhappy, and more than a little nuts.

.

~ From “Monkeymind,” Chapter 19 of Monkeytraps: Why Everybody Tries to Control Everything and How We Can Stop (2015)

*

(Continued from Part 1.)  fro

*0m

1. Monkeymind is, arguably, insane.

That’s if we define sanity as being in touch with reality.

Monkeymind is anything but.

Preoccupied with memories of the past and projections of the future, it spins a narrative saturated with fantasy and only minimal awareness of what’s actually happening right here, right now.

Anyone who’s tried to meditate knows this narrative all too well.

Never have? Try now:

Sit still.

Close your eyes.

Take a deep breath.

Stop thinking.

Put all your attention on your breathing instead.

Count your breaths.

(Authorial pause while reader counts.)

How far did you get before your counting was interrupted by a thought?

That chatter you heard?

That’s monkeymind.

(Concluded tomorrow.)

*

*

Monkeymind is a Buddhist metaphor that

describes how normal human consciousness operates.

Our minds jump from thought to thought,

feeling to feeling, like a monkey leaping

from tree to tree to tree.

Unsettled, restless, never content with the

present moment, they are constantly distracted

by the endless stream of internal chatter passing through.

This is universal.

But there are two important things to remember

about monkeymind:

(Continued tomorrow.)

*

The greatest stumbling block to

true communication is the

tendency to play “lawyer.”

In an argument with someone

close to you, as soon as you begin

to recognize your desire to fix

the blame (“I’m right, he’s wrong,

I must prove it to him”) you are

headed for further frustration.

You cannot handle intimate human

relations from the legal angle. 

By the time the two of you are ready

for courtroom-type arbitration

your relationship has already

dangerously deteriorated.

~ Muriel Schiffman

*

*

Blame is the world’s greatest excuse.

It enables us to remain limited

and small without feeling guilty.

But there is a cost —

the loss of our freedom.

Also, the role of victim brings with it

a self-perception of weakness,

vulnerability and helplessness….

The first step out of blame is to see

that we are choosing to blame.

~ David R. Hawkins

When feelings are denied or kept inside

there is typically a buildup of physical tension.  

When that tension is not released, an

internal pressure builds up.  

An accumulation of such pressure leads

to anxiety, due to fears of losing control

emotionally.  

That condition also triggers

anxiety because of its physiological

similarity to the fight/flight response,

which is normally associated with danger.  

Thus our personality creates a paradox

in which we deny feelings to prevent

anxiety but experience anxiety when

we deny our feelings.  

~ Paul Foxman

.

We’re not born constipated. 

We’re born healthy little animals,

able to trust what our bodies tell us

and automatically expel waste products. 

Then in childhood we begin hearing

messages like Quiet down and

Big boys don’t cry or Don’t cry or

I’ll give you something to cry about. 

Surrounded by giants on whom we

depend for food, shelter, love and

security, we have no choice but to

follow such instructions.

Voila.  Constipation.

~ Steve Hauptman, Shit

*

.

The biggest mistake I made was

to believe that I could graduate

from the school of life by skipping

all the self-knowledge classes.

~ Valeria Teles

.

.

Yes, we are indeed formed

by traumas that happen to us.

But then you must take charge,

you must take over,

you are responsible.

~ Camille Paglia