Chapter 2: My life as a child

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Before I tell my life

what I want to do with it,

I must listen to my life

telling me who I am.

~ Parker J. Palmer

I’ve been trying to expand my own conscious part for fifty years now.

And the most important part of that work has involved looking at my family of origin. 

My father was an alcoholic, and my mother was a depressed codependent.

Those two facts shaped my life more than anything. 

They taught me how to see myself and other people. 

They taught me how to handle feelings and relationships, cope with stress, and see the world. 

They also left me with anxiety, anger, depression, low self-esteem, narcissistic tendencies, social anxiety, workaholism, an identification with underdogs, a tendency to self-medicate with smoke and sugar, and a recurring urge to solve other people’s problems. 

I’ve spent the first third of my life living out what I learned as a child, and the remainder trying to unlearn it.

I’m still trying to understand how all that happened, to sort out the healthy lessons from the unhealthy ones.

It’s the main reason I became a therapist.

It’s the main reason I wanted to write this book.