Chapter 12: The Kid

The child is in me still and

sometimes not so still.

~ Fred Rogers

We’ve been talking about the need to free ourselves from our families of origin in order to grow up emotionally.

We can’t do that without addressing our inner Kid.

Which means we need to acknowledge the Kid, accept it, figure out what it needs from us, and do our best to parent it.

Adults who never learn how to do those four things — especially the parenting part — end up feeling permanently kidlike inside.

So what’s the Inner Kid?

Occasionally someone asks me this question.

I usually answer, “It’s that part of you where you store unexpressed feelings, unmet needs, and unhealed wounds.”

Usually they nod.

Not one has ever said No, I don’t have one of those.

That might seem odd, given how we usually bury this most secret part of us.

Then again, maybe not.

Since we all know we’re damaged or wounded in some way.

And we’re all familiar with feeling like kids inside.

The idea of an inner Kid simply gives us a language for talking about it.

In my work I tend to encounter each client’s inner Kid in two forms: as the source of that person’s hidden authenticity, and as the storehouse of his or her hidden wounds.

Let’s look at what that means.