My wife and I had a fight.
What about?
I took a nap.
You fought about that?
Yes. She wanted me to go
shopping with her instead.
She called me selfish.
Do you think you’re selfish?
I guess so. Mom always said
I was. Dad said it too.
When would they say that?
Whenever I didn’t do what
they wanted me to.
Like Felicia did.
Yes.
And Mom and Dad and Felicia
all acted like selfishness
was a bad thing.
Of course.
Funny thing about that.
About what?
About people who call other
people selfish.
In my experience,
they’re usually being selfish
themselves.
And what they’re really saying
is “Don’t take care of YOUR
self. Take care of MY self
instead.”
Ever notice that?
Not until now.
So how good are you at
taking care of yourself?
Awful.
Scared someone will think you’re
selfish?
That’s part of it.
The other part is believing…
I don’t really deserve to take
care of myself.
So you end up not selfish enough.
Yeah.
Well, don’t blame yourself.
That’s a tough manipulation
to defend against, especially
given how your parents
trained you.
Then again, if you don’t take
care of yourself, who will?
Probably not Felicia.
Probably not.
But you can start. At first
baby steps are enough.
Baby steps?
You listen to your body, and
find small ways to give it
what it asks for…
like taking bathroom breaks,
or resting your tired feet…
or going outside to let
the sun shine on your face,
or treating yourself to your
favorite lunch…
Or not going shopping
when I need a nap.
Just so.
Baby steps count.
How are you feeling
right now?
Like taking another nap.
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