About pain

Consider the usefulness of pain.

This usefulness is most obvious on

the physical level.

Physical pain exists to warn us against

dangers to our physical body.

How else would we learn not touch

hot stoves or pet bumble bees?

In our pursuit of comfort we often forget

how necessary pain is.

But even a brief glimpse into a life

where this sort of radar has gone missing

is a peek into horror.

I recall reading about a little boy whose

leprosy led to permanent loss of sensation

in his extremities, and so bit off his fingertips

so that he could paint with his own blood.[i]

Emotional pain is no less essential.

Again, its function is to tell us something

important about what we are experiencing.

We ignore that information at our peril.

One way I learned this was by sitting with

clients after their divorces or breakups

and reviewing all the red flags they’d

ignored during the relationship.

I always felt alone in the marriage.

I was constantly walking on eggshells.

Everything was always my fault.

He drank a lot, but I told myself

that would eventually change.

I felt her pulling away from me, but it

seemed safer not to talk about it.

Each of these people admitted that

their radar tried to warn them of

the storm ahead.

Unfortunately hindsight is usually 20/20.

Foresight is much less expensive.

But we need to use our emotional

radar to access the foresight with

which we are naturally endowed.

[i]. Philip Yancey & Dr. Paul Brand, The gift of pain: Why we hurt and what we can do about it (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House, 1993), 58.